Jesus Loves Me (And Other Things I Know Because the Bible Tells Me So)

This has been my phone's wallpaper for a couple months now. There's something about being reminded that the Lord cares for the seemingly insignificant details of my life that brings deep comfort to this weary soul of mine. I've been noticing the birds lately. There are a ton of them at my school, hummingbirds mostly, brushing past me in my ten minute sprints from one place to the next. They impact my prayers, transforming my automatic "God, help to get through this day" to a more intentional request - "Father, help me to thrive."

On Tuesday morning, I met with my spiritual director. She's like another set of eyes, helping me to see God's hand in my life where I might not always be able to. We talked about God's love. Of course I know He loves me. I hear it all the time. God is love. We love because He first loved us. Yadda, yadda, yadda. 

She asked me a question: "When do you feel loved by God?" 

I felt my face scrunch up a bit. I could give a thoughtless answer, "All the time!" Or I could be completely honest. I broke the silence and said, "On my good days. It's a lot easier for me to feel loved by Him on my good days than the bad ones." 

I hung my head, ashamed that I had just admitted this. But I also felt free, the kind of relief you get when you take a gulp of fresh air after holding your breath underwater for longer than you should.

Avoiding eye contact, I waited for her to say something. "I just really feel like God wants to remind you today that you are loved." 

That stuck with me the rest of the day. It's one of those things that I have to tell myself over and over until I finally believe it, like reminding myself that He is good. I don't always feel like it, but I know in the deepest recesses of my soul that it is true.

So, whatever state you find yourself in today, I invite you to take this truth with you. What does this mean to you - that at at your best behavior and in your moments of deepest shame that you are loved just the same?

I pray that this paradox bothers you a little, and that it leaves you in awe of a holy AND loving God.